Good Parenting: The Starting Point

“…encourage the young women to love their husbands and children…” – Titus 2:4 (HCSB)

The process of taking care of children until they are old enough to take care of themselves known as parenting (Merriam-Webster Dictionary) is full of challenges. The number one challenge is the fact that people often become parents without any formal training and/or parenting experience. The training in parenting or parenting experience any one could claim he/she has was the “experience” of how he/she was brought up by his/her parents; and often times, adopt such parenting style without any serious consideration of its outcome or end result on them and their siblings. The implication of parenting without formal training and/or experience is that parenting is by trial and error; and by the time parents are “experienced” they discover so many things have gone wrong as a result of blunders they have made and they notice so many negative influences in their children’s lives.

While the idea of having a formal training and/or taking a course on parenting before the arrival of the first child may not be a bad idea, it is important to note that the child’s sense of security goes a long way in raising assertive, obedient and god-fearing children. And there is nothing that threatens the child’s sense of security more than the child discovering that his parents are cat and dog. The reason is that so much of children security is in knowing that their Mom and Dad really love each other.

The child’s sense of insecurity will be compounded when parents start reporting each other to the child. For instance, three things will happen, when a mother tells a child how wicked his father is or when a father tells him how useless his mother is. One, the child will hate his father or mother, the person being reported, because that is what the reporter wanted. Two, the child will hate the reporter because the reporter is the one who has made him a victim of his “father’s wickedness” or his “mother’s uselessness.” Three, the child will hate himself because his parents are loosers.

It is important therefore for couples to learn how to keep their differences between themselves and not drag their children into it. They were not there when they were marrying each other. Even if they are divorced, they should not make the mistake of tearing down their ex because if they do, there are not only tearing down their ex, they are actually tearing down their children as well. Portraying their ex in the best possible light, no matter how difficult it may seem, goes a long way in building up the children.

It is no gain saying then, that the most important starting point for good parenting is for Mom and Dad to love and respect each other. This explains why Paul, the apostle, in his letter to Titus, the pastor he placed at Crete wrote that Titus should teach older women to “…encourage the young women to love their husbands and children…” – Titus 2:4 (HCSB)

Parenting is tough, but the most important way to be a good parent is to love one’s spouse. God commands it, and the children need it. Do you desire to be good parents and to raise godly children? Then, love and respect your spouse. That is the starting point of good parenting.